today i slowed down

i have been moving at a reckless pace, self induced, and stuck in circumstance, two weeks ago i threw myself into a project of thrilling satisfaction and tear stained pots and pans.  since, i have not worked less than ten hours a day.  more shifts ended at hour thirteen.  the hood fan stopped working the sat night i cooked 86 covers.   i have been so exhausted, discombobulated and sore that i have not had time or energy to get out of bed early enough to make tea in the morning.

yesterday my college roommate came to visit.  she lives in colorado and wanted to put her feet in the atlantic.  the beach was roaring.  it was grey in so many ways.   a foam; alive and shivering across the beach lent animation to the deafening sound of the storm.  my friend and i danced in the waves and laughed down the beach.  we caught each other spinning and dreaming. 

amongst the ruins of buildings once grand as dreams my excitement seemed to coax the moon from behind the clouds.  it was huge in the sky.  i stood facing the moon, intoxicated by its enormous light, the strength of its pull holding the waves accountable as they crashed upon the shore.  it was magic.

today, we rambled through our morning, i practiced patience and longed to be alone. as the day turned into something other people owned i sat in the backseat, and ate an apple.  

we rocked hopped through the river bed.  splashing with excitement, to find three rocks.  we each sat.  

we were quiet.  still, watching and listening.  exploring our surroundings.  as i stretched my hands above my head i saw a velvety body at the edge of the water.   her ears were back and her lips were drinking.  we stopped.  all three of us stayed still and quiet.  we watched this lovely young deer and her two fawns drink and snack at the rivers edge for a long time.  they noticed us but were not alarmed and continued to walk up river and munch on blackberry's and drink the cool river.  

i stopped to watch these creatures.  my body was humming.  i was so calm, and happy.  

thank you earth, for giving me these past two days, to remind me of how terrifyingly gorgeous you are.  i have needed the perspective and respite.  i am thankful and blessed.